Hi guys, just some thoughts this monday morning.. I chose the featured image for a reason, which I will come back to..
I feel like it is a “small” uprising in the fashion industry at the moment. Maybe it is just me, but I have been trying to think a lot about this lately. Mostly because I wanted to think about how I felt a year ago. In 2014 I hit rock bottom with my self esteem. Even though my family and friends didn’t know it I was so depressed. Over 100 kgs and eating away my emotions. At the same time it was summer, my friends wanted me to go to the beach, and I ordered bikinis. They all looked like crap on me of course, or I thought so. You know when you see that ad for a bikini online at the small info text says: “The model is 1.80 m tall and wears a size small” … My first thought: “I will stay inside all summer”
In the fall I was fed up, and started to loose weight. I can now say that I am happy at 78 kgs, and healthier than I have been in 5 years! Well, I still have the same feelings about the department stores. I fit clothes in every store now, but I still have the feeling when I see a girl that looks like me a year ago. That brave smile when someone asks her if she needs help with something, even though the employee knows that she doesn’t fit anything in the store. SADNESS.
Here in Norway we have a small selection of plus size stores. And very expensive ones! Of course we have a small plus size section at H&M, Â but when I was buying clothes there, it was small. But after all, is it the clothes we are looking for? I don’t think so. I think what we are looking for is THAT CONFIDENCE.
Tess Holiday is an awesome example about the confidence I am looking for. She is everything to me! she is a amazing model! I envy her for that beautiful face and hair. Wow!
I checked the suggestions when I googled her.. of course people want to know her weight and height. But why? Is it because of curiosity? Do we need to know this? Is it her obligation to tell us? How interesting is it really?
I DON’T KNOW. But I think we compare our selves to her. Is this the way we choose to gain self confidence?
I recognize the feeling from when I was a size 16/18. I always felt good when I saw someone bigger than me. I think it is a natural thought when you feel bad about yourself. Anything to make you feel better. But still very sad. Why can’t we just be happy for other peoples success? Now, at size 10/12 I have friends who compare themselves to me. I still feel sad. I just want to be me. Not my body size.
Back to the featured picture. BARBIE. The first girl I ever compared my self to. She was so beautiful to me. The perfect face, the perfect body, the perfect makeup, the perfect hair. Just perfect. And only available in one size. Just like the fashion industry before.. Too fat, too skinny, too tall, too low.. Picking out flaws.. When are we gonna focus on the good stuff? We pick on ourselves enough.
Before and after my healthy journey. I am happy! I am good enough!
Love, Kristine

































